Many Bothans

transcreature:

odofemi:

I wish queers would realize that they need to keep their hands to themselves. During the Cum2GetHer party after No More Apologies, there was some non-consensual touching of my body and clothing while I was trying to go-go dance.

I think queer cis women and trans folks need to ask themselves the following before coming onto someone in a bar “If I saw a cis straight man do this to someone, how would I feel about that?” If the answer is “I would think he’s a misogynist/be creeped out/be worried about the woman he’s sexually harassing,” then you need to not do that.

I like being flirted with. But I don’t like when drunk girls (or guys, or whoevers) grab at me, or shove their tongues down my throat, or grope me, or otherwise overtly sexually touch me without any lead-in. I’m not even asking for people to ask me directly (although that would be nice). Just please give some non-verbal cues for a couple of minutes and read my verbal and non-verbal cues. Don’t just grab my clothing or kiss me out of nowhere. If we’re sexy-dancing together, and it turns into grinding, chances are I’d be ok with being kissed. If I’m dancing by myself and you appear out of nowhere and suddenly your tongue is in my mouth, I’m not going to be happy about that. And if I’m go-go dancing (which I consider work), do not grab at my clothes or body.

Thanks!

Great post. I also get annoyed when queer communities refuse to see this type of sexual harassment or intervene when it happens. I remember being the only person willing to tell a guy off at an event because he was way too drunk and harrasing way too many people. This guy who told me later me he doesn’t even have access to misogyny because he is trans. SO MUCH BULLSHIT!