Many Bothans

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Dear Queers: Stop Doing the Things You Hate Cis Men Doing

transcreature:

odofemi:

I wish queers would realize that they need to keep their hands to themselves. During the Cum2GetHer party after No More Apologies, there was some non-consensual touching of my body and clothing while I was trying to go-go dance.

I think queer cis women and trans folks need to ask themselves the following before coming onto someone in a bar “If I saw a cis straight man do this to someone, how would I feel about that?” If the answer is “I would think he’s a misogynist/be creeped out/be worried about the woman he’s sexually harassing,” then you need to not do that.

I like being flirted with. But I don’t like when drunk girls (or guys, or whoevers) grab at me, or shove their tongues down my throat, or grope me, or otherwise overtly sexually touch me without any lead-in. I’m not even asking for people to ask me directly (although that would be nice). Just please give some non-verbal cues for a couple of minutes and read my verbal and non-verbal cues. Don’t just grab my clothing or kiss me out of nowhere. If we’re sexy-dancing together, and it turns into grinding, chances are I’d be ok with being kissed. If I’m dancing by myself and you appear out of nowhere and suddenly your tongue is in my mouth, I’m not going to be happy about that. And if I’m go-go dancing (which I consider work), do not grab at my clothes or body.

Thanks!

Great post. I also get annoyed when queer communities refuse to see this type of sexual harassment or intervene when it happens. I remember being the only person willing to tell a guy off at an event because he was way too drunk and harrasing way too many people. This guy who told me later me he doesn’t even have access to misogyny because he is trans. SO MUCH BULLSHIT! 

  1. nikkidubs reblogged this from thechroniclesofrin
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  4. xyrophile reblogged this from worsethanqueer
  5. crooked-words reblogged this from crystalizedessence
  6. crystalizedessence reblogged this from transcreature and added:
    you identify as or where you are, getting groped by random ass people...not cool. Check...
  7. girlfagdykething reblogged this from fuckthegenderpolice
  8. fuckthegenderpolice reblogged this from radicalqueery and added:
    This definitely extends to straight cis women as well. Basically EVERYBODY needs to check themselves and practice...
  9. xyrophile reblogged this from catamite
  10. screamingbrain reblogged this from transcreature
  11. venusvegas reblogged this from cloneboy and added:
    This is why Mary B. James (my college’s annual liquor-fueled gender-fuck party) got on my nerves after a while. Because...
  12. thespokesman reblogged this from transcreature
  13. obfuscationgeek reblogged this from transcreature and added:
    this seems to be a community problem. I’m not a big fan of my personal space being invaded, especially if I don’t know...
  14. worsethanqueer reblogged this from girl-germs
  15. kwilder reblogged this from anticapitalistcunt
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  19. intheleaves reblogged this from transcreature
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  21. goddessofnature reblogged this from raggedyanndy and added:
    Ugh, people actually do that?! I apparently don’t get out often enough, but I couldn’t imagine going up to somebody and...
  22. raggedyanndy reblogged this from delineatingkaj
  23. every-inch-but-one reblogged this from catamite and added:
    When my brother was bartending the local queer bar, he was physically lifted from the ground and placed on a butch...
  24. delineatingkaj reblogged this from catamite
  25. togetmethroughthis reblogged this from disgustinghuman and added:
    at the last show i was at. i was grabbed tonnes of times, and had a couple people practically hanging
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